The Road to Rectitude

I’ve never been much of a reader. The only book I have read intently AND finished was Daniel Defoe’s 1719 hit Robinson Crusoe back in fifth grade. And I only did it because I had just learned how and felt I needed to exercise my new skill. I know talking with me you would have never guessed I don’t do any of that book learnin, 😐

My mind works fast, I am constantly in my head, and if something isn’t firing off more than one or two senses my brain gets bored and I start to ponder what life would be like if rain was hot, or what I said at dinner on March 3rd 1995, or why toast always lands butter side down and who even tests that kind of thing?! it’s exhausting. Some would say this is a form of attention deficit disorder, but its whatever, what was I saying? oh yeah...

If you have followed my story, you know that for a real addict, sobriety is incredibly hard to obtain, and NOT for lack of trying, conviction, or determination. In my drunkenness, my heart broke for sobriety. I cried and pleaded and scratched and clawed to obtain it, only to lose it hopelessly and dumbfoundingly. Unfortunately, when an addict loses their sobriety, it’s not the only thing to go, kids, spouses, houses, cars, money, jobs, and friends all tend to follow suit, understandably so.

Fact, only 1 in 10 people who suffer from substance abuse actually seek help and go to treatment. Those that go, roughly 75 percent actually complete the program. Of that 75 percent only about half will stay sober the first year.

Read that again, let it sink in.

There is a disconnect for freshmen in recovery, and it’s not really their fault. A lot happens in rehab for those of you who have never been. Once the patient has been detoxed, not a fun experience, the center begins intensive inpatient treatment, and intensive is an understatement, there are typically multiple meetings each day that resemble a college class, there are required support meetings you attend, there are regular meetings with the doctor, psychologist, billing counselors and exit counseling, there are required wellness and mindfulness classes, yoga and so many other things, it’s work. When you leave, you are definitely burnt out, tired, and overwhelmed.

The world does not come with the same structure that rehab does. The accountability stops, the schedule disappears, and suddenly you are expected to navigate life on your own again, while still learning how. That gap between the clinical world and real life is where a lot of people struggle, because the tools you learn in treatment don’t automatically become habits when you walk out the door.

Housing people who suffer from substance abuse is not enough, to KEEP them sober we need to help them build lives that support their recovery, we need to educate and inspire them, and we need to give them every tool possible for success because their marriages, kids, friends, family, jobs, health, and lives literally depend on it.

I realized something profound, sobriety isn’t a finish line, it’s a transformation of how you live and think, it’s not something you check off once and walk away from, it’s a practice, a commitment to choosing life every single day. The supports and structures you build around yourself, the patterns you create, the habits you form, those matter more than any certificate or meeting schedule, because they are what you carry with you when the world gets hard.

Recovery is not about being perfect, it’s about becoming someone who can face life without needing to escape from it, and that is one of the most powerful realizations a person in early recovery can have.