Rock Bottom

Have you really hit "rock bottom"? This term has been thrown around by addicts and their loved ones for decades and is, in my opinion, a bad portrayal of an addicts circumstances. 
The definition of rock bottom is "at the lowest possible level" which for us addicts, that level is fleeting and completely ambiguous. I can tell you that if I'm still alive, I have not hit "rock bottom". 
A long time ago, I thought my best friend dying from the same drugs I was using was rock bottom, until I weighed 140 pounds. I thought being 140 was rock bottom, until I lost my job. I thought losing my job was rock bottom, until I lost my wife and kids. I thought that was rock bottom, until I lived in a trap house with 10 other dope fiends. I thought that was rock bottom, until I was homeless. I thought that was rock bottom until I got locked up... see what I'm getting at?
A better term would be reckoning. Because there is a realization that happens when you finally get sober. Maybe this reckoning happens at your "lowest possible point" and maybe it doesn't. Maybe look at it this way...
You haven't had your "rock bottom" yet because it's waiting to happen the next time you use.🤯
So the next time you're talking about your loved one who has recovered, don't say "they finally hit their rock bottom". Say "They have had some sort of reckoning, and have turned their life around!" This turns it from a negative to a positive, which getting sober most definitely is.
Trust me, I'm a professional alcoholic. 

1 comment

Codie Nicole Ott

Rock bottom was SO amazing to read. Very good depiction of addiction. And your right about turning sobriety into a positive.
I’ve gone through a couple programs. They didn’t work for many different reason. I’m now 9 months clean. But I’m not happy where I’m at in my life. I want Recovery and a new way to live to really seep into the depths of my soul and bones. As well as my religious belief of God. For some reason I cannot grasp the two together and they are the most important to success in Recovery. In 2020 I lost my business,my husband got new charges n got locked up, cps took my kids and a 3 year old I took in. We lost our house as well. Even our beloved cat Mozzy got killed. All In the month of April. Click restricted us from seeing our children for 7 months. Which drove me into an addiction and hell I’ve never felt before. And it continued to get worse n worse. No treatment no POs no accountability. We were sent into a drug induced crime spree. Once one is stuck they are stuck. No one that’s been in this spot can really understand truely how hard it is. CPS takes my pride and Joy- my babies and says OK get clean. It doesn’t work like that. Them being taken was the worse heartache ever. 💔 All in such a short amount of time I lost my mother to a type of cancer. My ex, my sons father died from his drinking and pills. These last 2 years I have been drugged, sexually assaulted and beat to the point I have no clue how I got away.
I’m a feeler I feel and I love whole heartedly. So when things ain’t right they are not right and I speak upon it. Maybe that’s why I haven’t been able to complete a inpatient program. I’m not sure. I know I can do it. Recovery should be exactly that recovering. It should be a calm warm environment but I’ve experienced nothing even close to that at the 2 places I’ve been. The 3rd I got covid and had to quarantine.
My point is I want to prove to myself my children and CPS I can do it.
They terminated my parental rights my husband just got 48 months in prison and now that I’m 100% clean I feel everything and I’m mentally breaking quietly on the inside.
I feel like I can’t keep my head above water. I feel like I can’t accomplish anything with out something else falling short..
I would love to talk to someone about this program. I’ve laid out what might help you better understand what I need. I’m mentally relapsing. I need help before I fall down again. Please contact me 9713989968

Leave a comment